Review – Inception

Continuing in the Papa’s Basement tradition of reviewing movies weeks after their release date, I’ve decided to bang out a few words regarding Inception, the latest achievement from Christopher Nolan of Memento and The Dark Knight fame. Here goes:


1. After exiting the theater, please stop acting like you just saw The Godfather.


Inception is a great flick, and I was thoroughly entertained during every moment of it, but an all-time classic it ain’t. This may come as shocking news, given the fact that it currently holds the number three slot on The Internet Movie Database’s Top 250 Movies list, voted upon by the site’s readers. (As an aside, I’d like to take a moment to defecate upon the IMDB’s Top 250. Currently, 11 of the top 20 films of all-time were released in 1990 or later. The Dark Knight is listed as the 12th greatest film of all-time, Fight Club the 18th. We should all give thanks for living during such a cinematic renaissance! The summer of 2010 alone has seen both the 3rd greatest movie (Inception) and 10th greatest movie (Toy Story 3) released during its span. See? Democracy doesn’t work.) So, while I encourage you to watch and enjoy the fine piece of cinema that Inception is, if it takes you more than a few days to shut the fuck up about it afterward, I’m probably going to punch you in the trachea.


2. Just because you kept up with Inception‘s plot doesn’t mean you belong in Mensa.

The film centers around the conceit that you can enter a shared dream-state with other people and, while in this state, get them to reveal their secrets to you. Simple, right? Well, sometimes the targets of these attempted dream thefts have been trained to detect intrusions into their minds, and the only way around their defenses is to suck them into a dream within a dream. By the movie’s end, there are scenes taking place in a dream within a dream within a dream within a dream. “How labyrinthian!,” you exclaim! Not really. Yesterday I ripped Judas Priest’s British Steel to my computer (keepin’ it current) and wanted to listen to “Breaking the Law.” To do so, I clicked on the little Windows button in the corner of my desktop. Then, I clicked on the “music” directory. Then I clicked on the “Screaming for Vengeance” directory, which was located in the “music” directory. Then, I clicked on the “Breaking the Law.mp3,” which was located in the “Screaming for Vengeance” directory, located within the “music” directory. Heady stuff.


3. Why Does Joseph Gordon-Levitt have Chinaman eyes?


Joseph Gordon-Levitt (pictured to the left doing everything short of posing with Jake Gyllenhaal’s cock in his mouth to evoke the memory of Heath Ledger) is a fine actor and does a great job in Inception. I did leave the theater, however, thoroughly confused about his ethnic background. I mean, I’ve seen wider eyes in Bugs Bunny Nips the Nips. After a lengthy inquiry (which consisted of typing the name “Joseph Gordon-Levitt” into Wikipedia), I learned he’s Jewish. I’m still convinced his mom must be a goddamn Eskimo, but I’m putting an end to my search into his racial heritage before it crosses into Josef Mengele-ville. If any of you guys reading have an idea what the hell the story is with 3rd Rock, leave a comment.


4. Ellen Page gives me an erection times negative one.


Not much to say here other than wonder why Christopher Nolan didn’t go with an actress who doesn’t require computer effects to look like she’s gone through puberty. As I said about Rotsa Ruck Revitt above, she’s a great actress and does just fine in the film, but the exchange where he kisses her because his lustful passions supposedly got the better of him is the least-plausible part in the entire thing…and this is a flick that features things like floating, upside-down skyscrapers that bend to your very thoughts. I’d rather run the words “Proteus Syndrome” through Google Images and masturbate to the results than spend another moment on Juno. Next time you’re in bed, try thinking about her instead of baseball to last longer.


So go ahead and rip me apart in the comments section for not walking out of Inception with such a massive erection that I had to hold my popcorn in front of me to hide it. It’s the best flick I’ve seen this summer, but if I could somehow make incarnate and then fingerbang The Godfather, Inception wouldn’t be fit to sniff the scent of that fine film’s juices off of my digits.

Tagged as: Christopher Nolan, Inception, review.