Osama bin Laden’s Death Hit Me Like a Viagra
Terrorist. Murderer. Fiend. Yet there’s one crime we don’t like to admit Osama bin Laden’s guilty of: Possession of one Hell of a pair of these. I have a confession […]
I know what you’re wondering: How can a six-year-old be accused of sexual assault? Did he get a girl to drop her diaper for beads? Convince her that she’d never make it to the first grade if she didn’t honk his acorn? Well, at the behest of the authorities, a Grant County, WI lad will be heading to court for playing doctor with a five-year-old girl.
To me (and, I’m assuming, all of you reading), this is utterly ridiculous. Playing doctor is a rite of passage. It is one of the vividly horrific memories I have from my youth. (Horrific only because the objects employed as doctor’s instruments were vintage Generation One Transformer toys, irreparably damaging their resale value. Every Autobot I owned saw action in Unicron’s core that day. Even poor little Seaspray.) While the kid obviously can’t do any time, if the judge finds him guilty, he AND HIS FAMILY can be ordered into counseling to “help” him.
The irony of all this is that I bet the hoopla surrounding a typical event in a child’s life is going to permanently warp the lad. He’ll probably go on to invent fetishes which make the current content of Internet porn look as racy as a 1920s bathing suit by comparison. All because some court thinks six is just a little too old to be playing doctor. If being behind the curve on touching a chick’s vag is a crime, then consider me Charles Manson.
Brian on May 4, 2011
From the article: “A second petition accusing the boy of disorderly conduct alleges that last summer he repeatedly grabbed the breasts of two teenage baby sitters, took off his clothes and rubbed himself on their legs and tried to kiss them.”
I’m with you on the absurdity of charging the kid with a crime, but his parents or any adult figure with whom he spends a significant amount of time needs to be investigaged to some degree. Seems to me someone’s been playing tummy sticks with the lad.