False Alarm! This Week’s The Walking Dead Sucked, Too!
A little birdie told me that this week’s episode of The Walking Dead wasn’t as horrible as the rest of Season 2 has been. Sadly, that birdie was a lying […]
Two years after murdering his girlfriend Yeardley Love while drunk (that makes it better!), 24-year-old George Huguely V was convicted of second-degree murder and grand larceny. I don’t see the necessity of the grand larceny charge in light of the murder, but I’m not a lawyer. Maybe they should have tried to tack on a jaywalking charge and really showed him how justice works in these parts.
The point is, George Huguely is a murderous piece of shit and that the jury only recommended him for 26 years behind bars disgusts me. I guess they wanted it his age to be a nice, round number when he got out. 26 + 24 = 50. Fucking adorable. Did the jury consist of the Wu-Tang Clan? I haven’t been so disgusted by a misuse of math since the last time the RZA opened his mouth.
During the trial, Huguely’s layers referred to his actions as those of a “stupid drunk.” Where I come from, being a “stupid drunk” means you piss the bedsheets or tongue a fat girl’s nipple in front of everyone. Getting loaded then beating to death a woman half your size doesn’t fall under the umbrella of social faux pas. Don’t get me wrong, George: From what I understand, she was also drunk, and, though I’ve definitely never experienced this myself (initiate sarcasm font), I’ve heard whispers on the playground that women, after they’ve had a few, can cuntily needle their men. But a mature adult walks away, goes home, rage-bates to some porn and passes out. Murdering your significant other is so 1994.
I’ll have to content myself with the fact that even one day in prison for a white guy with Huguely’s looks is a living Hell. By the time those first 24 hours are over, his rectum will be so pumped full of semen that it will resemble one of those baking soda volcanoes you made back in grade school. George, when your cell mate greets you with “Bottoms up,” it isn’t because he’s about to welcome you with toilet wine. Have a nice life, asshole.
Dimley on February 23, 2012
I try to avoid investing any emotion into these stories and will do so until the media and public cares as much when it’s an ugly minority suffering the same fate. Not that I actually care as much myself either… I just find the unspoken disparity of concern disingenuous and disappointing when we could all simply admit publicly and forthright that we all have some level of subconscious eugenics-based ethics when it comes down to which death is a “tragedy”, and which a “statistic”. I know that makes me a cold callous individual but the only real difference between me and most everyone else is my being honest about it.
P.S. So so many good clips from Let’s Go to Prison.
Dimples on February 24, 2012
I freaking LOOOOOOOOOOOVED this one!!! Have a nice life with cellmates Bubba and Skillet jerkoff.
Heezy on February 24, 2012
The prosecution went with a grand larceny charge too because Virginia juries are allowed to find someone guilty of murder, even if there is reasonable doubt whether the defendant intended to kill the victim, when the victim’s death occurred during the commission of another felony. This “felony murder” rule makes it a lot easier to get a murder conviction, because proving the intent to kill beyond a reasonable doubt is one of the more difficult tasks a prosecutor faces. Proving that Huguely intentionally stole the laptop and that Love died while that happened was a lot easier than convincing the jury that the drunk Huguely purposefully killed her.
That said, the jury found that Huguely had intended to kill her (though they felt it was not premeditated). There wasn’t any need to find him guilty of felony murder once they decided he was guilty of 2nd degree murder, but no one explained to the jury that the larceny charge was no longer necessary to the prosecution’s case. It does add 1 year to his sentence…