Sheetz Offers Premium Wine By the Glass. Fancy Enough Fer All Y’allz Needs!

Not to make you readers jealous, but I must confess that I dine in many elegant venues during the week due to this Internet celebrity status I enjoy. Among them is the Sheetz located in Chantilly, Virginia along pastoral Route 50. Perhaps you’ve read of the establishment in your supermarket gossip magazines. I’m sure you’ve whispered in hushed tones, “What fanciful, lavish treats that I dare not even imagine must be presented there, to patrons both hoity and toity?”

Well, wonder no longer. I’m here to let you 99% gaze upon the ambrosia served to us gods in this modern-day Olympus. Yes, it’s sweet, delicious Copa Wine, sold in units small enough for teenagers to steal by concealing them in their baggy pants. And, lest you have any doubts regarding the bouquet’s pedigree, I encourage you to look no further than the declaration of its champion status circa 2010, which is prominently displayed on the item’s individual cardboard cutout (the cheese always stands alone). This is the opulence in which I live, loyal readers. Bathe me in your envy.