Reviewing Dredd Without Having Seen It

Most of the time, my “Reviewing X Without Having Seen It” articles are a chance to make fun of movies that anyone with a brain realizes will be utter crap. There are rare instances, however, when Hollywood lets a film slip out that might not be a complete dumpster fire. Bizarrely enough, I think Dredd has a chance to be one of these movies.

To the untrained eye, Dredd seems a hopeless case: A reboot of a comic book movie that sucked. The odds are already stacked terribly against it. Here is what I like about Dredd, though: Unlike every other comic book movie reboot, it doesn’t use half of its run time to tell us the character’s origin story. It’s just a day in the life of Judge Dredd as he shoots people, delivers one-liners, and generally kicks ass.

That’s why I think Dredd could succeed where so many other properties have failed. When it comes to the origin of super heroes, I’m sick of hearing them. At this point, I know the origin of Spider-Man better than I do that of Jesus Christ. (One got his super powers via a radioactive spider’s bite, the other via childhood exposure to gold, frankincense and myrrh, but, beyond that, I’m lost.)

There’s no shame in making a movie about a comic character’s average day. You know, those days that Spider-Man has after ten years on the job where he wakes up to Mary Jane saying “Care to swing out and get me some tampons, Tiger? Because my underwear is as red as my head.” He swings over to the local CVS, get jumped on the way back by the Vulture or some other queer in a jumpsuit, spouts off a few one-liners before winning the battle, dumps off said villain at the police department, and signs a few autographs on the way home. Bam. It’s not even noon and Spidey’s already had a day more exciting than any you’ll have in your life.

99 times out of 100, a comic issue and its contents are beyond insignificant in the grand scheme of a super hero’s life. Hell, that’s why I stopped reading comics as a kid–I could only take so much of the Punisher offing one-of crooks that were introduced in an issue only to be killed by its end. Now, as an adult, I miss that. I took for granted seeing an established super hero who was just doing his damn job. Don’t show me the first time Superman fights Lex Luthor: Give me the 50th. Much like sex with one’s wife, I want it to be routine and almost boring, with only fleeting glimpses of the passion that once existed between the two. So go see Dredd. I bet you’ll find yourself surprisingly entertained by a comic book movie that skips the foreplay and just sticks it in.

Tagged as: Movie Review.