For as long as I can remember, I never got girls. They were something you stared at, but not something you talked to or interacted with. It might tie into my filthy Greek gorilla DNA, which matured me to a horny, pre-pubescent state by age 4, well ahead of the […]
I was out performing my locksmith duties yesterday which, thankfully, consisted mostly of changing the locks on foreclosed homes, barring their families from ever reentering the premises. What can I say; my ass moved back home as of last week, so I’m in full-bore hater mode. Right now, in terms […]
Hey, the title doesn’t always have to be effin Wordsworth…while driving home at 3 in the morning in downtown DC, I picked up some hitchhikers. Merrily singing along to my Hawthorne Heights cd (eat shit; I know they suck, but I’m just happy to have a disc recorded in the […]
The other day I was driving out of my neighborhood for a fast food breakfast (the only means of maintaining as stunning a physique such as mine). I awoke after 11am (yes, it was a weekday. Don’t judge me, or I’ll be force to remind you that the song “We […]
By next time this week, I’ll have moved back in to my mom’s house. That is punch line enough; no need to gild the lily. So let’s go over what steps you young folk out there need to take in order to have a life that follows the trajectory of […]
It’s t-minus seven hours until I watch the new Star Trek, and I have to confess, I’m pretty pumped. Is it cause I’m going to see it on a man-date with my friend Tony DeSisto and he typically treats, which makes me feel like the beautiful, pert-bosomed belle I was […]
Though the obviously vast amounts of effort and money put into this page would make it appear that I make my fortune as a successful radio entertainer, witty blogger and elite cocksman, there is a less glamorous job at which I also toil in order to make ends meet: locksmith. […]
In the great tradition of drunk shows, I get my friends together and get mashed in the studio and record the whole affair. Papa’s Basement 11-28-08 ft. Adam, Carmen, Gerry, Howard
Much as my lust for various amateur porn/cam girls would suggest, when it comes to celebs I would like to roto root, my taste is equally eclectic. Carie Underwood? Eh, I have a penis, so sure, but a little white bread. Ditto for Taylor Swift, Jessica Simpson and most other […]
