I could have taken this review as an opportunity to crap all over The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 and its lousy theatrical poster that makes it look like the cast is answering a call of “News team, assemble!” But I wont. Because, as much as it pains me […]
The legacy of James Bond is a mixed bag for me. Some of my first memories are my dad ogling Bond girl jugs as we watched 007 marathons on TBS together. Later, as an adult, I viewed a few Bond movies via Netflix and realized that, other than the Sean […]
Another week, another computer-animated film designed to hit all the right notes with both child and adult audiences. This week, it’s Disney’s Wreck-It Ralph, featuring the fantastic John C. Reilly as the titular character, a video game villain who tires of being the bad guy and sets out to see […]
The original Taken was a surprise hit, a film whose appeal is not easy to explain. Maybe it was Liam Neeson kicking ass even though he’s old enough to tell historians what the Gettysburg Address sounded like firsthand. Maybe it’s women loving a movie where daddy saves their chastity from […]
Most of the time, my “Reviewing X Without Having Seen It” articles are a chance to make fun of movies that anyone with a brain realizes will be utter crap. There are rare instances, however, when Hollywood lets a film slip out that might not be a complete dumpster fire. […]
In the history of movie making, two good horror films have been produced: The Exorcist and The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. There might be a few others I genuinely respect that I’m forgetting, but I enjoy starting off articles with grandiose, pompous statements that inflame and titillate. Despite my prejudice against […]
The Words looks like the biggest movie coming out today, so I’ll write about it. (They really don’t like putting any movies with a budget up against the NFL’s opening weekend, do they?) It’s a movie about a book, a concept I’ll never understand. You don’t make a car about […]
Most of the time, when I do my “Reviewing X Without Having Seen It” reviews, I actually have some idea of what the movie is about. Lawless is not one of those times. So I did all the research I needed to in order to write this piece and looked […]
PG-13 horror is like gay porn: Remove the descriptor, and you’re left with a word I might have been interested in. The Apparition is the latest in a long line of non-R rated cash grabs designed to pry away the allowance money of our nation’s morbidly obese, academically under achieving […]