Gulliver's Travels Bombs - Papa's Basement

America, thank you for giving me the best possible present you could have this Christmas (other than a job that allows me to feel I have worth as a human being): The thorough and abject failure of Jack Black’s Gulliver’s Travels at the box office. Sure, I could be glass is half empty about this and focus on Little Fockers making over $34 million and winning the weekend, but I won’t. Instead, I’m going to enjoy the fact that the Cohen brothers’ (always good to see two Catholic boys do well in Hollywood) latest masterpiece True Grit was in second place and Jack Black’s smushmortion was in seventh. The next time I’m having wine and cheese with a Frenchman who mocks us as a nation (because it’s such a common scenario in my life), I will remind them that America stood strong in the face of Jack Black in the year of our Lord 2010. Then I’ll call into question the grooming habits of his country’s women and ask him what it was like to roll over Hitler. Because I’m sophisticated. As is my humor.

See? I’m not the only one that feels this way.