Is Roger Ebert a Stale Old Fart?

The film Kick-Ass was released a little over a year ago. A tale of a comic-obsessed teen who decides to don a mask himself and fight crime, it sounds like something I would have loved to flush two hours of my life down the toilet with. Only I didn’t, my decision to not see the movie heavily influenced by Roger Ebert’s scathing review, in which he derides the film as “morally reprehensible” and, in so many words, calls it a piece of shit.

Kick-Ass reared its head on Netflix streaming earlier this week, meaning I had to watch it by law. I found the movie to be crisply-directed, emotionally engaging and possessing one Hell of a soundtrack, the vast majority of critics on Rotten Tomatoes agreeing with me. It begs the question “Why was Roger so off the mark?” (Please note that I didn’t refer to Kick-Ass as “kick-ass” in my review. Anyone making that folly deserves to get their scrotum worked like the pump on a blood pressure monitor.)

I know what you’re thinking: “He’s a movie critic. They suck. Get over it.” Ebert, however, stands on his own. I trust the man’s reviews implicitly, with two exceptions: Comedies and movies about black people. Roger is too kind too middle-of-the-road comedies like The Hangover, too harsh on dick-joke-a-thons like Shallow Hal. As for black flicks, he grades them on a one or two star curve. What do you want? He’s got a black wife. I begrudge no man trying to secure himself a little pussy after a hard day of work. Just know what’s up if you someday see a four star review of Soul Plane 2 out of the man.

Roger hated Kick-Ass because he felt that graphic violence both dished out by and inflicted upon a pre-teen girl, with no exploration of her emotional state afterward, was soulless. In his words, “This movie regards human beings like video-game targets. Kill one, and you score,” which leads him to bemoan we products of the Internet age and what he perceives as a lack of sensitivity to violence on our part.

I, on the other hand, had very little issue with what was taking place on screen. Yes, it was bizarre seeing a little kid kill a small army of mobsters, but it was also terribly awesome and grin-inducing. And, while I wasn’t a fan of the scene where Chloë Moretz’s character gets smacked around, I never lost sight of the fact I was watching a movie, either. Violent things have been happening to good people in movies since Bambi. Walk it off, buddy.

So there you have it. If you’ve watched Kick-Ass, I want to know if you agree with Roger Ebert in its inherent moral bankruptcy or if you, like me, thought the film was great and that Robert was a little off the mark this time. Man, what a boring ending. Let’s see if I can go out on a laugh with a little help from my buddy Pedo Bear.

Tagged as: kick-ass, Movie Review, Roger Ebert.