Because it’s easy content and I love the show, I’m going to use every Friday from here on out to cherry-pick my three favorite scenes from the previous night’s episode of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia. While last night’s episode, “The Storm of the Century,” (a 30-minute ode to the media’s love of over-hyping inclement weather for the sake of ratings), was no Shadynasty, it certainly had its moments. Here are the top three (in ascending order of awesomeness), which you’re free to disagree with in the comments so long as you acknowledge that I’m right and you’re wrong and you’re just trying to make it all about you. Egomaniac.
As usual, it took the skills of one of the show’s two good actors to make the scene work, but Danny DeVito’s exchange with Kaitlin Olson regarding the difference between “looting” and “surviving” delivered regardless. Here’s the conversation in all of its glory:
(Seated at a computer watching YouTube clips) Do you remember years ago there was a storm in New Orleans?
(Shocked at Frank’s idiocy) Hurricane Katrina? Yeah, I remember it.
Yes? Okay, check this out. (Flips to a clip of white people raiding a store) What do you think these people are doing? Surviving or looting?
They’re surviving.
Ha. Okay, you remember a man named Rodney King?
Yes, of course I do.
The LAPD worked him over really good…this was taken during the Rodney King Riots. What do you think these people are doing? Looting or surviving? (Flips to a clip of black people raiding a store.)
Well, they’re looting.
Ha, ‘course! Well, it’s the media, see: When it’s white people, it’s survival, and, when it’s black people, it’s looting.
No, Frank, it’s because the white people are stealing bread and the black people are stealing speakers. If the white people were stealing stereo equipment, I would say they were looting, too.
How do you know the blacks don’t have bread in those speakers?
Gold, Jerry. Gold.
Human nature is, by and large, depressing. We are nasty and brutish, our motives so selfish and base that we have to apply the thickest of sugarcoatings to them simply to get through life without utter contempt for our fellow man. Which is why I found it so refreshing that, in one continuous, slow-motion shot, Dennis Reynolds laid bare what it is that causes a man to really fall for a girl.
One of the episode’s central arcs was the gang’s ogling of local weather reporter Jackie Denardo, a blonde with a penchant for cramming her ridiculously large, fake breasts into the tightest of tops. (I think we can all agree she deserves an Emmy nod.) After heading to the store she’s broadcasting from in an attempt to meet her, Dennis finally sees Jackie walk across his field of vision. With the first heave of her massive bosom, a solitary bell tolls, then the pre-chorus of Heart’s “Alone” begins to blare. After 20 spellbound seconds, he draws in a gasp, then utters, “Oh my God…Charlie, I might be in love with this woman. Not for the right reasons, mind you.” And here was my response to the scene.
This has happened to every guy. You’ve been flirting (or, at least what you thought was flirting) with a woman over the course of the night. Right before you go in for the kill and attempt to score her number, she reveals that she, in fact, has a boyfriend. Ladies, why do you do this? Why do you waste our time just to line the nests of your vanity with the twigs of our attention? All taken women should be forced to wear a star declaring their non-single status, preventing tragedies like that from ever occurring. Thankfully, Dennis Reynolds stuck up for every guy who’s ever pissed away an evening on a lost cause in the episode’s funniest moment:
(All smiles, wrapping up his pitch to invite two girls he’s bumped into to come back to his bar and ride out the storm) Yeah, it’s a great bar. Gonna be free drinks for everybody, so, you know, you’ll come, you’ll party with us, and you can bring your girlfriends, too. You know, we don’t want just the two of you. You gotta bring your girlfriends. That’s a requirement.
Sounds like fun. Can our boyfriends come, too?
(Every trace of interest immediately dropping from his face) Your boyfriends?
Yeah, our boyfriends.
(Barely concealing his rage) You two have boyfriends? How did you not know…that the reason I invited you back to my bar…was to bang you? GET OUT OF HERE! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! GET! GET OUT OF HERE! SHOO AWAY FROM ME!
All in all, it was another solid episode from the best season of Always Sunny in years. I hope they can deliver again next week.
If you enjoyed the article, please give the latest episode of my radio show a listen. What else would you do at your desk for an hour? Work? How un-American.
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