Why Valentine’s Day Sucks
In the pantheon of holidays, Valentine’s Day is at the bottom of my list. Not because I feel alone or unloved or any of those other emotions for women. It’s […]
Here to make the woman you spent your Valentine’s Day dollars on look like dog shit by comparison is Kate Upton, who will be on the cover of 2012’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. On more than one occasion I’ve heard female friends of mine say things like, “John, I didn’t think you’d be into that kind of girl.” Let me clarify something: Every man is into that type of girl. I have a preference for brunettes, but that’s just it, a preference. You might not be the biggest fan of steak, but if someone shoves a free plate of Ruth’s Chris under your face, you will both eat and appreciate it. Louis Farrakhan would renounce all he believes to sniff Kate Upton’s farts. That’s just how the world works. Sounds like you have some growing up to do.
Brian on February 14, 2012
I would do terrible things to her for somewhere between 8 and 14 seconds.
Brian on February 15, 2012
Is this chick really 19??
David on February 15, 2012
Bless her cotton socks. Three to twelve months of wholesome fame will ensue, and then with any luck she won’t be able to ignore how lucrative the offers from Vivid Video seem, compared to her SI days anyhow.
Djvexd on February 17, 2012
@David –one can only hope.
Heezy on February 19, 2012
She’s hot, but I gotta say, the SI cover is one of her worst pictures… nothing makes a pear shape torso look worse than MAKING IT LOOK EVEN LONGER