L.A.-Day 3

Any post about a trip to Orange County, California has to start with this video by law.

-During a quick stop in Pasadena before my journey to O.C., I had my second celebrity sighting: Noted addiction specialist and unabashed silver fox, Dr. Drew Pinsky. And, if I do say so myself, Dr. Drew is one handsome man. I don’t even feel fruity typing that. In fact, I bet I could be in a room with Dr. Drew and ask, “Doc, is it gay of me to think you’re an attractive guy?” and he’d laugh and reply “I don’t know John, is it?” with that half-smile on his face. I’d probably spend the rest of the evening scrawling “JP <3 DD" on every cocktail napkin I could find. Time to wrap up this paragraph before it turns into some journey of self-discovery that ends with me wearing a tied off t-shirt emblazoned with the words "sassy bitch" and in a civil union with a salon manager named Christof.

-Orange County is one of the most idyllic places I’ve ever seen, and, had I grown up there, you couldn’t pay me to leave. Sure, it’s suburbia, but it’s suburbia on miles of gorgeous beach, which trumps my birthplace of Fairfax, VA, or “suburbia with deer ticks.” Not only that, but everyone is really good looking. Not in the Hollywood, implants-and-botox-and-collagen-injections kind way, either. They’re just all laid back and happy and don’t live on the pounds of oinkslop that we East Coasters seem to have accepted as a way of life. As if to prove the point, I’m shoveling a baker’s dozen of cinnabuns in my mouth as I type this while my hostess is eating hard boiled eggs mixed in with some tuna. Ah, gluttony.


-I’d like to thank my hosts for the evening, Mr. and Mrs. McDonell, for having me to their residence and letting me sit around on their mammoth couch like a pasha while shoveling fresh-baked cookies in my mouth and watching the Yankees game on a tv so big it’d look at home coming out of the wall of a James Bond villain’s cave. Seriously, if I weren’t 29, I’d have refused to leave until they adopted me. Their house and hospitality were both amazing. Hitler had it right: Blonde people with blue eyes really are better than the rest of us (well, at least me). Now I just feel guilty that it took me so long to come to that conclusion. Again, thanks, guys, and I hope I see you again someday soon.

Tagged as: Los Angeles.