Miley Cyrus Twerks At the VMAs

I am a 32-year-old man who has embraced pop culture long ago passing him by, so don’t judge me when I ask the following: What the hell is twerking? I mean, I get that the general concept is shaking your ass while you bend over like you’re giving an eye-level view to a seated proctologist, but is that it? Not to sound like the old man at the beginning of Raw, but 2 Live Crew was doing that over 20 years ago!

So is the big news from Miley Cyrus “twerking” last night that America’s former sweetheart Hannah Montana was shaking her posterior in the manner of a common hip-hop video negress? I don’t get it. All I could focus on was how her bottoms, which look like they were sewed from a sheet a bedwetter would cover their mattress with, couldn’t have let her ass and vagoo breathe one bit. She probably had a yeast infection by the fourth measure of the song. When those britches hit the floor after she got off stage, I guarantee you the entire building smelled like New Jersey.

Tagged as: Miley Cyrus, mtv.