The Redskins Must Sign Peyton Manning
The Redskins organization, if it knows what’s good for it, will sign Peyton Manning. It’s a move surrounding by questions: Is Peyton healthy? Are the Redskins ready to contend? Is […]
Apparently, John Carter is not some piece of fly-by-night shit whipped up by Disney and is actually based upon an old pulp novel character from the turn of the century. Why would Disney use something so ancient as source material? Maybe it wanted to conquer the six people left alive in the coveted 85+ demographic. Maybe it wanted to give you and your grandfather something to do other than listen to his “They were never this uppity in my day” speech for the hundredth time. Either way, John Carter is here, and we must cope.
The film looks like yet another loud, dumb Star Wars knockoff. Emphasis on the dumb. Maybe it’s secretly good. I wouldn’t know BECAUSE I HAVEN’T WATCHED IT. From a distance, John Carter‘s tag line looks like it should be, “If your mother drank during pregnancy, we promise you won’t stop clapping.” Steer clear of JC (ooh, Christian symbolism!) unless you’re in that magical phase of adolescence where you go to the movies high on mushrooms every weekend, in which case, this flick might serve as the equivalent of a Native American rite of passage.
Asatr on March 9, 2012
Oh those days of weekly psychedelic consumption!