Papa’s Basement Radio Show 8-23-12-Rescue Dogs Are Horrible
My week has been spent (devoured?) taking care of my friend’s rescue dog. She did a noble thing in adopting it, but, after logging a few days with the creature, […]
PG-13 horror is like gay porn: Remove the descriptor, and you’re left with a word I might have been interested in. The Apparition is the latest in a long line of non-R rated cash grabs designed to pry away the allowance money of our nation’s morbidly obese, academically under achieving youth. What’s it about? Hell if I know. From the look of the poster, lots of unwashed hands. Maybe it’s set in a Taco Bell kitchen.
Look, you know if you’re the type that will go see The Apparition, and nothing I can do or say will dissuade you. But for those of you on the fence, I’ve come up with a guide below that will indicate if you should or shouldn’t see the movie:
People who should buy tickets to see The Apparition:
–Boys in 8th grade who need a place where their girlfriends can lift the skirt they shoplifted from Hot Topic 90 minutes prior to get fingered by popcorn salt-encrusted hands.
People who shouldn’t buy tickets to see The Apparition:
–Everyone else.
The one thing I will give The Apparition is that it isn’t one of those found footage movies like Paranormal Activity or The Blair Witch Project. Who would ever uncover a video camera and actually watch the footage on it? Even if I was a detective investigating the deaths of the movie’s protagonists, I wouldn’t touch. I’d be too afraid it’d contain shots of a birth, which would shatter my illusion that vaginas exist only to bring me sexual pleasure or, occasionally, act as Homer Simpson’s beard (NSFW). And forget missing, dead kids. The death of my innocence would be the real tragedy.
noizedup on August 25, 2012
Do or Dont’s or Plus or Minius’s. (SCOTTISH ROVEING NON REPORTER NOT ON THE CASE)
For’s:-When i first diden’t go to see this film i instantly thought awe naw ! (why did i not buy a ticket to not watch this b-moveie piece of shit ? So the flick is bascally about some american (who all look the same by the way) THE END, Cos i stormed out the picture hall before the ardverts started in disgust.
Against’s:- We all die eventully.
So if you do go and go and see this flick you need your fucking head examined.