The Intercourse Papers – Death Candy
I figured I would write about all the offbeat women to which I beat off because, like most of the arts (for the purposes of these articles, sucking cock will […]
Much as my lust for various amateur porn/cam girls would suggest, when it comes to celebs I would like to roto root, my taste is equally eclectic. Carie Underwood? Eh, I have a penis, so sure, but a little white bread. Ditto for Taylor Swift, Jessica Simpson and most other Hollywood blond types. So just who would I like to prong that is famous for doing something on camera other than an act that rhymes with “touble benetration?” Topping the list at moment is Gina Carano.
“Who the fuck is Gina Carano,” you may ask. Well, she’s a big time female mixed martial arts fighter. I think she’s also an American Gladiator named Taco or McNugget or whatever the fuck they name American Gladiators now. Let me get this out of the way: I go nuts for tough chicks. Not to the point where they could actually best you in a fight, mind you, but maybe they’ll take out a tooth or two. It must tie into my affinity for sex that borders on combat: biting, choking, scratching, the whole nine. I don’t want a girl who will tear up if I smack her one in bed; I want her to tag me back with a right cross. This Gina broad gives off the vibe that, if you get her between the sheets, it’s going to be an experience that leaves you bruised, beaten and having busted such a nut that the condom will have burst like overcooked Jiffy Pop.
Not only that, but she’s abnormal. I don’t mean that in the R. Kelly, she likes a brown hoagie laid on her tummy way; just that she’s a chick who makes a living beating the shit out of people. It isn’t too much of a stretch to imagine her delivering the Joker’s “You’re a freak…like me!” line right before using my mule to check herself for strep. And really, who doesn’t like a chick that is a little off center? Vanilla is boring. Gina Carano, between the fit bod, the dago DNA (Italians are just Greeks minus the gorilla genes), ambition you must possess to get as far as you have and gorgeous face that I would like nothing more than to give the mime makeup treatment, you get a file in the Intercourse Papers.
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