It’s a contentious time in this nation’s history: Pokemon Go has us fighting over PokeGyms and tiny monsters. We are busy either murdering or being murdered by cops. And I wouldn’t trust presumptive nominees of the country’s main political parties to not cheat at a game of Monopoly much less […]
One of my favorite episodes of It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia is titled “Dennis Looks Like a Registered Sex Offender.” The episode’s premise is that show protagonist Dennis Reynolds bears a more-than-passing resemblance to Wendell Shorteyes, a recently released child molester who moves into his neighborhood. Dennis grows increasingly exasperated […]
The other day, I was hanging out with my friend Howard watching Office reruns on Netflix. Because I had been drinking since 2pm and I’ve seen every episode of that show at least four times, I nodded off. About 20 minutes later, I awoke to the same suburban bear trap […]
It isn’t often you get to meet your heroes. And, if you do, sometimes the circumstances stink, like Muhammad Ali pounding the shit out of a young, impressionable George Foreman in Kinshasa so many years ago. But, once in a rare instance, when the Almighty pauses to shotgun another cosmically […]
After all that happened in Orlando on Sunday at Pulse Nightclub, there wasn’t much else to talk about this week. Well, except for Christina Grimmie, a singer from the Voice, getting shot and killed in Orlando. And a toddler getting eaten by an alligator. In Orlando. Clearly, Orlando is Spanish […]
Sure, the world would have you believe that the greatest passing in the world of combat sport this week was Muhammad Ali. But we all know the truth: MMA start Kimbo Slice pushing up daisies at the age of 42 is the real heartbreaker. From his humble beginnings as an […]
Thank you, Internet, for exposing those who are wisest among us to all sorts of situations they wouldn’t have encountered in their day-to-day lives so that they might tell us all how they, in their infinite wisdom, would have handled said situation. Before you, people could just blab about what […]
SiriusXM is the teets and I miss having it in my car dearly. So it was a great joy when I stole my roomie’s satellite radio-equipped vehicle this week and got to listen to actual music on the radio, eventually settling on a Motown station or soul station or whatever […]
Doctors (specifically, a doctor named Dicken Ko, so ha) have performed the first American penis transplant. On the surface, this is great news. Thomas Manning, the peen-cipient, can live a normal life after losing his birthcock to cancer. Soldiers whose dicks blew up like a prank cigar in the face […]
