Papa’s Basement 6-21-12-The West Hollywood Pride Parade 2012
It’s Doug’s (the guy on the left) first appearance on the show, during which he sees fit to tell/scar us with stories from the 2012 Gay Pride Parade in West […]
Vanessa Paradis (horf) is a French model and singer who, for almost 15 years, has been Johnny Depp’s girlfriend/faux wife. Their relationship came to a public end this week and, in the wake of the announcement, I think we all have had the same thought: How the fuck did this gap-toothed Skeletor manage to keep one of the world’s most attractive and successful men bagged up for that long? I mean, just look at that goddamn gap. It’s so massive you’d think she had an egg tooth that fell out.
Apparently Vanessa has managed to bag other rich, successful guys as well, among them none other than beloved Jewish rock star Leonard Kravitz. Which begs the question, ‘What delicious children’s breakfast cereal does Vanessa Paradis’ vagina taste exactly like?” Because there can be no other reason to come within 15 feet of this wendigo. Anyone who thinks she hasn’t sucked the souls of countless men out through that Grand dental Canyon of hers is a naive rube.
Jacqueline on June 21, 2012
I always said it was big enough to throw a cat into. They have dentist in France I’ve been told.
Sai on June 21, 2012
its a pretty interesting phenomena indeed how some borderline ugly girls manage to capture successfull and good looking men for themselves (who could easily score better than them). you could elaborate on this question on your next show
anon on June 21, 2012
ok, uninformed sir – or shallow douchebag, whichever you prefer. vanessa paradis is actually fucking gorgeous. not looking like a eva longoria or kate upton, does not dub one a “wendigo”. she’s a renowned french model for christ’s sake.
johnny depp has always been an elusive character in his own respect – what makes you think he would swim around in the shallow depths of maxim’s top 20 anyway? there is no substance there whatsoever for him, especially after winona.
Djvexd on June 21, 2012
He DID date Helen Bonham …just sayin’… Wendigo fits perfectly. “French Model” means “sleeps with 90 y/o men for money.”
Heezy on June 21, 2012
“I don’t find girls pretty no more, unless they’re being a real whore. You a real whore?” Russell Jones, aka ODB aka Osirus.
That said, while I would not go so far as agree with anon that she is “gorgeous,” I will admit that I would “hit it like Johnny Depp.” If Johnny Depp happened to catch us in the act, that would be even better.
Dawn on June 21, 2012
Nothing says true conviction like an anonymous post.
I’m ugly and fat and I still look better than her, someone give Johnny my number 🙂
Jericho on October 21, 2012
She was very beautiful when she was younger. She’s aged and well, things that used to be charming (like her gap) now look harsher. Her face was rounder when she was younger and as a woman ages she loses fat on her face. This has given her this look. I guess, she needs to get some Juvederm injected or something. She is a professional beauty so it’s not an unreasonable thing for her to do. Her bone structure is still good and she cleans up nice. This photo is a bit ridiculous, some silly idea of some fashion editor.
Karen Halaszyn on March 21, 2014
Vanessa has beautiful bone structure. The teeth are unique and kind of sexy.
Jasmin Flowerz on June 22, 2017
You’re just incredibly, insanely jealous of Vanessa. ..who actually happens to be gorgeous as fuck! Her beauty is enjoyed by people with exquisite, complex taste- such as mine…not everyone can appreciate fine champagne.
Her tooth gap only adds more of an interesting feature to all of the rest. She has one of the very few faces that I can stare at all day and never grow bored, even now in older age.
And in my personal opinion, Amber Heard is no where near as beautiful as VP. Amber is just trashy hot, while Vanessa is a classic timeless beauty.
Amber Duncan on November 12, 2019
You sir, made my night! Your post is so accurate, I thought maybe I might have spoken it out loud! 🤣 her daughter is right along with her. The sixhead is astounding!!
MELANIE on April 24, 2022
I agree, she’s absolutely hideous! Johnny claims he saw her back and she turned around and he was hooked. Ew! Why didn’t he run!? She dresses very matronly and has fuzzy hair. I will never understand the attraction to her. No wonder why he left , have you seen her lately? Barf