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The Buxom Bandit

admin July 3, 2012


I bet it’s hard to convince a court of law that you feared for your life while cum was dripping down your leg.

The British Empire was what it was because no people are more obsessed with massive tits than the English and I’ve never met a wicked person who loved giant breasts. Their newspapers feature topless women and only feminists and conservative members of parliament bitch about it because everyone else appreciates how fantastic it is. So you can imagine what a huge story it is over there that, in the former colony of Australia, a woman in her 20s with a rack so big that her cleavage looked like Garfield’s eyes was caught on tape robbing a convenience store (video here).

She’s been dubbed the “Buxom Bandit” (which I’ll admit is more alliterative than my nickname of “Chick in a Stocking Cap I’d Love to Titfuck”), and holy shit is her disguise brilliant. What guy would remember one thing about this woman other than those jugs? If she robbed me and I was questioned by police, I’d list her eye color as “nipple”. That shirt conceals the features of her face better than Predator’s camouflage would have.

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