A (Hetero) Love Letter to Don Geronimo
(Before reading, open this in a new tab for the proper musical accompaniment. “But John,” you may ask, “isn’t that song a little…gay?” Believe you me when I say it’s […]
Yesterday, I was looking over these pictures of people with Mario Bros tattoos (among them the chica pictured above) when it occurred to me: I have no idea why anyone would get any of this crap permanently etched upon their body. And I’m don’t specifically mean a tat of that fat, jolly wop plumber. Hell, more than some sort of idiotic tribal tattoo or a Chinese character that probably translates to “stupid roundeye,” I can grasp having a symbol of childhood significance inked upon you. I’m talking a tattoo of any kind.
As a youth, there were two people I tried to emulate: My dad and Tommy Lee. They were the governing pillars of my every decision in life. Both Tommy smoked and my dad smoked, meaning that, as soon as I could, I was smoking. Tommy was a drummer and my dad was happy to let me learn an instrument, meaning that the minute we could sign up for band in elementary school, I was drumming. And Tommy had tattoos and my dad was a sailor, meaning he would be sympathetic to my wanting a tattoo, right? Hell no! For whatever reason, that’s where pops drew the line.
My dad was possessed with countless gifts, but one of the greatest was an ability to bark something at you in that baritone Greek accent of his that made you feel his words in your gut, like you’d just been assaulted by a physical force. I mean it scared the shit out of me as a kid, but in retrospect, it was pretty awesome. So when he laid into me about how tattoos were for trashy people and that if I ever got one I’d be no better than the lowliest scum he’d served with, it stuck in my head like a lawn dart (much as I wanted to deny it at the time, because what pussy listens to their parents?).
Years have passed, and I’m still sans ink. A large part of it is my dad’s words, but also thoughts like “there is no symbol out there that I won’t find idiotic the instant I’m stuck with it on my skin” and “when I’m old and more wrinkled than Betty White’s labia, I will be begging to have this thing removed.” Is there still a chance I may someday get a tattoo? Sure. But it isn’t too likely. Especially since this guy took my idea.
MsBehavior on December 9, 2010
I love tattoos. But there not all tattoos are created equal. As an example, hombre up top with the mustache tat is just an idiot. It’s not art, although I suppose it IS a statement piece.
When I’m old and wrinkly, I’ll love my tattoos even more, because it will make for great guessing games at the home.
Nyssa23 on December 9, 2010
I always used to say that if I was going to get a tattoo, I’d get one like my dad’s: a skull on the left bicep with a scroll below displaying our last name.
That has kept me from getting a tattoo for my entire adult life thus far. Plus, no way am I going to pay someone to inflict pain on me. Duh.
reallyprofound on December 9, 2010
Darn tootin’ brother. Ain’t no ink gonna improve your Greek features, and even if you did get one, it’d be quickly overgrown by your bushy fur.
In seriousness, I completely agree but it wasn’t influenced by anyone. Tattoos aren’t for me, and I completely concur that all Asian characters on white people’s bodies represent (or at least contain) an injoke.
Amber on December 9, 2010
The guys that I have talk to say that a pretty girl doesn’t need ink or strange piercing to adorn themselves to garner attention, seems it is the plain or out-right unattractive that get tatts in a sad attempt to get a second look. Not knowing that the second look is in response to trying to figure out what the hell is etched on your leg or what is that nail gunned to your face!?
People when you have tattoos on your face, it says to me “one more and I am ready for the side show at Barnum and Baileys”.. Tongue piercings are stupid. You sound stupid when you talk, if you give bad blow-jobs to begin with this ain’t gonna help you! Try practicing..
MsBehavior on December 9, 2010
I find the preconceived notion that people get tattoos for attention far fetched. Most of mine are easily concealed, and they are for me; not you.
The fact that your friend thinks that women go out of their way to attract unwanted attention speaks to the size of his ego. It’s ridiculous and preposterous
Crystal on December 9, 2010
This site is DEF for you… (I’m guessing you’ve seen it before)
http://www.ugliesttattoos.com
Enjoy!
Also, Amber seems mean.
Amber on December 9, 2010
Not all tattoos are concealed- and are put out there for everyone to see. Those are the ones I am talking about. Most have sleeves that have a cohesive theme (those are cool). Others have a collage of ramdom non-sense up and down their body! That is just ashame and ugly..
Well Boo-Hoo there are allot of mean people out there, cause I didn’t make this crap up! My friend wanted to get a tattoo and her bother said “hell no! Plain girls do that to get attention!” He wasn’t the only one that has made that statement. So take a poll if u don’t believe me. I don’t come from a mean crowd, it’s your body do what ya want! It’s personal choice. Just if u get one that is visable to others please, we all have to look at it!
However I stand by my tongue piercing statement. If you have one -sorry, I am not the only one that thinks you sound like Elmer Fudd from a central African plains’ tribe with that thing clicking against your teeth.. Warmest Regards -mean Amber
MsBehavior on December 9, 2010
The thing is Amber, I run with a crowd of tattooed folks. Some blatantly tattooed, others more subtle. One of my closest friends is a tattoo artist. Owns and operates her own studio.
The results of my poll would vary greatly from yours, as we’re polling 2 entirely different demographics.
Amber on December 9, 2010
My son wants a tattoo, I said to him cool, you can when you are 18 and make sure that it is something that you will not regret later down the road. Cause the cost to remove the tattoo is 3x what actually being inked costs..
But being tattooed in such a manner does get attention- positive and negative, and i feel that a person being tattooed like all over should have a from what i see these people can be very thin skinned.. I don’t have tattoos and don’t give a shit what anyone thinks, cause people gonna talk about your ass no matter what you do. I am a punk ass bitch and alternative without the ink, just sayin..
sovague on January 2, 2011
I like my tattoo. It is super small, concealed, and has been quite fun on St. Patty’s Day when we play “find my shamrock”. 🙂 It is about your lifestyle, who you are, placement and relevance. For those that get random things on their neck, face, bellybutton, I will never understand. And the “trendy” tribal bands or tramp stamps are short lived, I am guessing there is some buyers remorse there. But to each their own, I suppose.
MB on March 9, 2011
As a commitment-phobe, not getting a tattoo was always second nature for me. I used to have nightmares that illustrated trashy looking tatts all over my thoracic cavity. What the hell?
Ink used to mean something, look at Sailor Jerry’s work. Those days are over, exhibit A: Ed Hardy.
It’s come to this: it’s more ‘non-conformist’ to NOT have ink.
TATMANDO on February 23, 2012
So glad i bumped into this site. “Ladies Love It” is awesome— I am getting that exact tat tomorrow… that way i can laugh my ass off everytime i look in the mirror like i am now– WTF? FUCKIN RETARD! Wonder if he changed it when he went to prison? Cuz those boys r gonna love it too.