Lake Shore Looks Like the Greatest Show Ever

I have a confession to make: I’m a tv snob. Not so much in what I watch as what I pretend I don’t watch, namely reality content like Jersey Shore or Rock of Love. Whenever my brother is on the couch and flips to a reality show, I turn up my nose and give him grief, asking how he could waste his time watching garbage like that. Yet I’ll be damned if I ever, ever put up a shred of a fight to turn the channel or even leave the room in protest. I’m no better than some closeted anti-semite, totally pretending to be okay with his Jewish neighbors until Hitler comes to power. Then it’s immediately all “Sorry about having to put this gold star on you, Mr. Silverberg, but my hands are tied. cough Damn moneylender cough.”


Well, no more lies. I’m here to confess my love of trash tv. And, more importantly, I wish to introduce you to it’s new king: Lake Shore



HOW UNBELIEVABLE DOES THAT LOOK?! The creators of this show took everything right with Jersey Shore and added race war and women you’d actually want to sleep with, not to mention a closet case so gay even Harvey Fierstein would croak “Oh, just admit it, honey!” (Or some other sort of gay profundity. My knowledge of homosexual one-liners is pretty much limited to those I’ve gleaned from Scott Thompson as Buddy Cole.)


I cannot wait to catch each and every episode of this little chunk of Western civilization’s decline and fall. I want to see the Turk and he Jew hurl racial epithets at each other then later drunkenly fondle each others’ breasts in apology. I want to watch the Lebanese parade around shopping in chain mail or whatever the hell he was wearing, all the while denying his flaming tendencies. And, most of all, I want to see the Pole do pretty much anything. Seriously, how hot is that chick? A couple of more seconds of watching her in that pool and she wouldn’t have been the only Pole in the room. Hiyo-ski!