Reviewing Ted Without Having Seen It
Seth MacFarlane gets a bad rap from a lot of people. For some reason, everyone wants to act like they’re better than Family Guy, even though we’re all one utterance […]
Women are lucky. Maybe I have zero comprehension of what makes them tick sexually, but I get the feeling that watching a movie like Magic Mike is as titillating to them as gorging on 30-second Bang Bros clips is to men. Which pisses me off, because they’re getting porn with movie stars and who wouldn’t prefer watching Jessica Biel take a load to Nina Hartley?
Ladies, please don’t take your man to watch Magic Mike tonight. I’m sure you’re going to view it in all-female packs and howl like you’re watching The Beatles on Ed Sullivan, but I felt it still needed to be said. In case you didn’t realize it, we hate movies made for women. Dirty Dancing sucks. An Officer and a Gentleman is only tolerable because Louis Gossett, Jr. as a G-rated drill sergeant is hilarious. And speaking of black men, why aren’t there any in Magic Mike? You’re telling me Michael Clark Duncan was busy? Can a sister get one break in this white man’s world?
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