Reviewing Ted Without Having Seen It

Seth MacFarlane gets a bad rap from a lot of people. For some reason, everyone wants to act like they’re better than Family Guy, even though we’re all one utterance of “Cool H-whip” away from quoting that bit in its entirety. I also think American Dad is really well done and, well…The Cleveland Show exists.

In fact, I only have two criticisms of Seth and his style–his need to put musical numbers in every other episode of his shows (fag!), and his odd obsession anthropomorphic animals. Family Guy has Brian, the talking dog. American Dad has a talking fish and The Cleveland Show a married bear couple. All of that leads me to conclude that MacFarlane must be into some insane stuff in bed. Not fun stuff, either. Disturbing stuff. Poop stuff.

Which brings us to Ted, Seth MacFarlane’s first movie which features (you guessed it) a talking animal (and one can only assume a few singing numbers). In addition to Ted the Bear, you get Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis, the hottest woman to ever have breasts smaller than my own. I expect good things from Ted. It might be uneven due a 106 minute run time and MacFarlane familiarity being 22 minute scripts, and his fixations are wearing a bit thin, but Seth’s a smart guy who should be given the benefit of the doubt. If nothing else, an R-rated comedy that features a cuddly looking teddy bear presents the dream date movie for a witty pedophile.

Tagged as: Movie Review.