The Pro Bowl Sucks (And How to Fix It)
The only interesting part of yesterday’s game. For the record, I live and breathe NFL football. Not so much in a Rain Man, I know to which side every Super […]
Continuing my long, proud tradition of reviewing movies weeks after their release date, I wanted to say a few words about No Strings Attached, which I caught over the weekend. (Before we proceed, no, I didn’t spontaneously grow a pair of meat drapes and up and go to this film by myself. It was either this or Black Swan and my friend had been feeling depressed. I decided a film about a chick completely losing her grasp on reality might have led to my companion hanging herself with her underwear like an inmate in county lockup. And, while that might have provided me with a sob story so amazing that I could have used it to get laid for the rest of time, I’d ultimately have felt guilty. Besides, I’ve already watched the scene where Mila Kunis goes down on Natalie Portman like 40 times.
No Strings Attached tells the story of Adam Franklin (Kutcher) and Dr. Emma Kurtzman (Portman), two friends who decide to see if they can have a purely sexual relationship because Portman is an emotional retard who’s afraid of being hurt by love. They bang a lot, become jealous when they think other people are getting banged and, eventually, end up together. (If you are pissed that I “spoiled” the ending of a movie as predictable as this one, hit the “X” in the upper right of the screen and never visit my site again.) The film works because Ivan Reitman’s direction is tight , there are some actual laughs and the actors involved all do serviceable work. (Though Natalie Portman doesn’t do a good enough job acting like she doesn’t have the body of a 12 year old. I feel like a short eyes every time I see her in a state of undress.)
So, if you’re a man who has to take one for the team, you could do worse than watching No Strings Attached. It has an enjoyable comedic vibe to it and isn’t so girly that it leaves you searching for tissues because you’re about to lactate through your shirt.
(Random aside: There’s an actress in No Strings Attached who I was convinced was Amanda Peet until she took off her top near the end and revealed a pair of corked her bats. Her name is Lake Bell and she’s quite enjoyable in the film, but I just wanted to say it’s awesome that there is an actress out there who can bill herself as another actress, but with better lungs. She’s like Amanda Peet 2.0.)
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