Like the title says, I review these movies without having seen them. I don’t just pull an opinion out of my ass, however, because that could lead to embarrassing situations like me having to praise pieces of shit such as Baggage Claim. (PS–Paula Patton–legally counts as a tan white woman. […]
While it’s funnier to trash something (especially blindly), and good comedy should be nothing more than hate speech with pauses for laughter, I’m going to go against my better instincts and say the following: Don Jon could be a very good film. Is it because I think Joseph Gordon-Levitt is […]
When did Robert De Niro quit? Because he did. There came a time, at some point, where he thought to himself, “I’ve given the world Jake LaMotta, Vito Corleone, Rupert Pupkin, Travis Bickle: Now it’s time to collect paychecks and bang sweet, black ass. Where is the script for Fockers […]
I’m in my early 30s. With regard to television and movies, I am a wealth of knowledge pertaining to nearly all programing aimed at my demo. Boardwalk Empire, The Walking Dead…if I haven’t seen it, I’ve at least heard of it. Somehow, though, music has passed me by. Completely. I […]
The only positive in my life is an AIDS test. That and a solid sense of humor. If the comedy elite finds something funny, I almost always find it funny as well. The exception being the work of Simon Pegg. When it comes to Mr. Pegg, literally the entirety of […]
The original Kick-Ass was a movie that I expected nothing of and was moderately entertained by when I caught it on Netflix a few years after its release. As I recall, the story centered around a teenager trying to become a real-life superhero and allying himself with a preteen broad […]
I’m going to make this short and sweet. One–I think Elysium is going to be good. Not great, but good. Its director, Neill Blomkamp, was the force behind District 9, a very engaging sci-fi film with sociopolitical (smart person word!) overtones. Elysium sounds exactly like D9 except, instead of becoming […]
The logic behind comic book movies is rather insidious. People are drawn to the familiar, especially things that excited them as a kid. It’s why Joe Camel was so effective at sucking in smokers once they turned 18 and the reason your childhood affinity for playing in a ball pit […]
Pacific Rim is going to be a good movie. Maybe even great. But at least good. It’s that simple. Why? Because directors make a film, and Pacific Rim was directed by Guillermo del Toro, whose track record includes Blade II, Pan’s Labyrinth and Hellboy, all of which pass the “I […]