Search Results for: redskins

THOUGHTS FROM THE GAME RGIII is Amazing–Really going out on a limb with this one. Before the season began, I figured it would be a story of how the Redskins mortgaged their future for a quarterback who revealed himself to be, at best, a slow learner of the NFL’s ways. Nothing could be further from the truth. I’m not sure there’s a man out there currently I’d prefer under center for my team to he-named-three. He’s mobile. He’s accurate. He even sounds intelligent in post-game conferences. If he Cam Newton’s his sophomore season, I will hang myself with my own […]

THOUGHTS FROM THE GAME Billy Cundiff Must Be Released (Update: He Has Been!)–The entire feel of the game on Sunday changed when the Redskins, who had been sticking it to the Atlanta Falcons up until this point, missed a 31-yard field goal. Why did they miss that field goal? Because Billy Cundiff is shook, son! At this point, the guy couldn’t hit Tina Turner’s face with Ike’s fist. Do you know what a gimme a 31-yard field goal should be for an NFL kicker? It’s like asking me to eat a sandwich, look at porn and then nap all afternoon. […]

THOUGHTS FROM THE GAME RGIII is the Real Deal–For two decades, the Redskins have lacked a real quarterback. You know, that guy who, when the game hangs in the balance, takes things on his shoulders and wins the damn thing because failure is not in his vocabulary. He’s akin to a gridiron superhero. And, for 20 years, the Redskins have had horrible, horrible superheroes. Ant-Man. Man-Thing. Marrow. I wouldn’t trust mediocrities like that to rescue a kitten from a tree much less stick it to a stout defense with two minutes left in the game. Well, Robert Griffin III is […]

Without fail, the arc of a Redskins season follows that of Requiem for a Dream‘s narrative: Things start off okay. Yes, the characters are flawed, but they have a chance. They have hopes and dreams and maybe, just maybe, they’re going to make it. Then, in the second stage, a few bumps in the road occur. There’s still a chance, but things aren’t looking good. And then, there’s stage three. The final phase. That’s where the descent occurs. Arms rot. Elderly women go insane. Someone orders “Ass to ass.” Well, we might only be two weeks into the season, but […]

I don’t normally make two click demands before an article has even started, but please go here for the proper mood music to read this by. Yesterday, in a move that had been anticipated for a while yet still came as a shock, the Redskins announced they were parting ways with veteran tight end Chris Cooley. It pains me to refer to him as a veteran because Chris is almost two years younger than me and the notion that a man of 30 is washed up has me feeling very mortal and wondering who enjoys the briefer career pinnacle: football […]

Barring something truly shocking, the Redskins will select Baylor’s Robert Griffin III with the second overall pick in the 2012 NFL Draft to be the first franchise quarterback the team has seen since Girl-Legs McProstate. My excitement regarding the move is tempered by the fact that rookies, no matter how sure a bet, are still a crapshoot and that the Redskins traded everything short of an inch from their collective penises for the draft pick. Also, I’m hearing a lot of comparisons of RGIII to Michael Vick. Why does every black quarterback have to be compared to Michael Vick? Maybe […]