I was never a huge fan of The Walking Dead or the zombie genre in general. Still, because God forbid I sound ignorant when it comes to television (though being a moron with regard to politics, religion and everything else is fine) I sat through Season 1 on Netflix. Much […]
Here to make the woman you spent your Valentine’s Day dollars on look like dog shit by comparison is Kate Upton, who will be on the cover of 2012’s Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue. On more than one occasion I’ve heard female friends of mine say things like, “John, I didn’t […]
Before last night, I was blissfully unaware of both Justin Vernon and his band, Bon Iver. Had you asked me what a “Bon Iver” was, I would have assumed some some sex act from the pages of Urban Dictionary involving feces, semen and the face of an unwilling female participant. […]
The Grammys are an irrelevant platform for old white people to tell other old white people what “hip” music they should be listening to. There was a time when that bugged me, but I’ve reached a curmudgeony place in my own life where I delight in my ignorance of anything […]
Whitney Houston died Saturday night. Though no official cause has been named yet, it was drugs. The sad thing about Whitney is that she spent the second half of her career taking a runny crackhead shit on the first half. If you’re an artist that gets hooked on drugs, everyone […]
I’d prefer a return to the days of Up with People to Madonna. At least they have comedic value. For a league that fields the finest sports product known to the face of the Earth, the NFL (if you were expecting me to say anything other than the NFL, please […]
My new obsession with the BBC comedy Gavin & Stacey led me to a startling conclusion: I’ve watched a lot of sappy TV in my day. Share in the fun as I purge myself on air of my television demons. Papa’s Basement 1-30-12 (Left-click this link or press the “play” […]
I tend to be a logical, keeps-his-cool kinda guy. Not to the degree of Mr. Spock, mind you, though I do view him as a role model for how all humans should behave. (Feel free to play “Guess At What Age The Author Lost His Virginity” in the comments section […]
Mine is a life of dichotomies. I log countless hours at the gym yet have a booth on reserve at the Great American Buffet. I love sex, yet panic after every fling that I’ve both impregnated the woman I slept and contracted HIV. And I know no greater rush than […]