For those of us not blessed with the looks and charisma of Howard, Clint, landing women has always been a mystery. Well, no more: Allison tells us what the ladies are attracted to and how you can apply that knowledge to pound some beef, too. I also ask if we […]
Six years have gone by since the original live-action Transformers. With the passage of time, it’s becoming more and more obvious that the film is seen as a rather seminal achievement in summer popcorn cinema. And that is depressing on so many levels. Let’s be honest: The first Transformers was […]
Not to let the cat out of the bag, but I use Rotten Tomatoes aggregate rating for a movie as a guideline for how my reviews are going to go. And that’s why Spring Breakers has me somewhat confused: With a current score of 69 (haha) percent, it probably isn’t […]
This might sound weird because I look reasonably caucasian, but The Wizard of Oz meant nothing in my household. I saw the movie once as a child. It was at a neighbor’s house, and the the only thing I remember is that his dog Sasha took a white shit on […]
I love “reimagined” art. There’s nothing quite like making a movie out of a board game or rapping over 20 percent of a song and releasing it as a new track that announces to the world Americans now find creativity “faggy”. (As an aside, “reimagined” is my favorite make-believe word […]
We all remember and love the original Die Hard, that film featuring unlikely hero Bruce Willis as policeman John McClane who, along with Carl Winslow, foiled the plot of a pack of Kraut terrorists to steal millions in bearer bonds. The movie worked for a variety of reasons, chief among […]
I’m not sure how depressed people actually get when single on Valentine’s Day. Most of those without significant others will acknowledge the fact that it’s a made up Hallmark holiday, but, unless television and movies have lied to me all these years (inconceivable!), a lot of people do get bummed […]
Without having seen it, I can safely say that Identity Thief embodies all that is wrong in comedy. The plot is contrived. (A man whose identity is stolen goes on a cross-country trip to seek out the person who stole it. Because one responds to crimes like these by becoming […]
The big news from last night’s National Championship, given its status as a lopsided disembowelment, was Brent Musburger singling out Alabama quarterback AJ McCarron’s girlfriend in the stands and carrying on about what a piece of ass she was. Apparently, in this country, it’s okay to spend your entire life […]