Had The Avengers been released five years ago, I would have needed two tickets to view it: One for myself, and one for my erection, which would have jutted into the seat in front of me. Sadly, it is now 2012, and I think the thrill of superhero movies has […]
To the casual observer, Don Draper is the stud bull of Mad Men. He’s tall, he’s muscular, and he’s got the looks and the game to run that shit, son. But the more astute viewer recognizes a very different truth, which is that none other than silver fox Roger Sterling […]
This week’s affront to our collective intelligence is The Raven, a movie about a serial killer whose murders pay homage to the works of Edgar Allen Poe. John Cusack plays Poe, who helps the police investigate the murders because clearly he would have some special insight into the killer’s mind. […]
Mad Men is the most masculine show on tv. Last night’s episode, “Signal 30” (click here to watch via Amazon), contained no less than the following: Lane Pryce living the dream that we’ve all had since episode one and beating up that little shit Pete Campbell in the office. (Note […]
If you think watching The Three Stooges looks like a good idea this weekend, here are some other activities I think you might enjoy giving a try: Drink lead paint smoothies. Get shot in the testicles by Robocop. Huff some jenkem. Visit one of these. Those were just suggestions. Really, […]
(Note: This one time, you shouldn’t lend too much credence to what I say, because, according to Rotten Tomatoes, Cabin is apparently the Citizen fucking Kane of slasher films. At least according to its score on Rotten Tomatoes. I still won’t watch it, though.) I’ve never understood horror as a […]
Last night’s episode of Mad Men (click here to watch it via Amazon) featured yet another scene that will have everyone talking today. No, I’m not talking Christina Hendricks in her black bra, the strap of which looked like it was under more strain than that wire that catches jets […]
Time has not been kind to the American Pie series. The original trilogy seems largely forgotten, and there have been dozens of horrible, straight-to-video releases that feature only Eugene Levy and his eyebrows from the first three movies. So I really don’t know why a decision was made to go […]
This post has a misleading title, because I’ve seen Titanic before (though it was the normal version and not this tarted-up 3D affair). I remember hating it until, as they say in the movie industry, “Shit went down, son,” at which point I laughed myself hoarse watching a bunch of […]