Contra is My Most Vivid Childhood Memory
When it comes to memories of my life that predate my getting hair down there, there’s precious little I recall. I owned a red bike with weird plastic plates over […]
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No Strings Attached Isn’t Horrible
Continuing my long, proud tradition of reviewing movies weeks after their release date, I wanted to say a few words about No Strings Attached, which I caught over the weekend. […]
The Pro Bowl Sucks (And How to Fix It)
The only interesting part of yesterday’s game. For the record, I live and breathe NFL football. Not so much in a Rain Man, I know to which side every Super […]
Papa’s Basement 1-31-11-Snow Makes Washington DC Retarded
Between the assassination of Abraham Lincoln, the Redskins being the last NFL team to integrate and now this, the District of Columbia really has some explaining to do. Hear our […]
The DC Snow Storm Robbed Me of My Faith in Humanity
If you don’t live in the DC area, you may never comprehend the sheer idiocy that I witnessed during Wednesday evening’s commute, in which the region was hit with a […]
Should I Have Watched the State of the Union Address?
I don’t feel very proud admitting this, but last night, I skipped watching the State of the Union address. At first, I felt no remorse about the decision, but it […]
Is Taco Bell Not Beef?
I apologize for the title, which sounds like a line from Shylock’s “If you prick us, do we not bleed?” speech in The Merchant of Venice. An Alabama law firm […]
More Reasons I Miss AOL Instant Messenger
Yesterday’s article, “I Miss AOL Instant Messenger (“article” sounds much more professional than “blog whose third paragraph I wrote while on the john”) seemed to get a lot of people […]
I Miss AOL Instant Messenger
By today’s standards, AOL Instant Messenger (AIM) is a friggin’ fossil. It does nothing other than let people send text messages to one another, a job Gchat, Facebook and your […]
Why I Won’t Watch The Social Network*
*Unless it’s on HBO and I’m sitting unswashed on my couch at 3pm on a Sunday, in which case, sure, what the hell. The Social Network tells the tale of […]
Happy Martin Luther King, Jr. Day
Do you wish someone a happy MLK day? It sounds a little morbid, given the whole assassination aspect of it all. What I do know is this: Enough of you […]
Papa’s Basement 1-17-11-The Hobo Years
Hear about the various horrible jobs I worked before getting into radio, like personal training and starring in a snuff film. We also talk NFL playoffs, but in a girly, […]
My Favorite Scene from The Sopranos
The Sopranos really was one of the most spectacular shows ever created. Nuanced, expertly acted, rife with dramatic tension, not to mention a surprising number of tremendous laughs. The scene […]
Gerbils: The Lamest Pet in Creation
I have a cat (there’s something inherently creepy about a heterosexual male saying that, but bear with me). It craps in a box, lives on a pillow under the heater, […]
Life on Hoth (DC Can’t Handle Snow)
Another dusting of snow, another out of proportion reaction from the DC area. At least this time people stopped short of bartering their women for milk and toilet paper, but, […]