I’ve been a cellphone owner for over a decade and have owned my fair share of cellphones. I’m talking phones from way back, with that awful, pea green Game Boy screen all the way up to the newest feature phones (though not smartphones because I’m still too cheap to pay […]
Don’t let the title fool you: I eat at Subway. A lot. But lately I’ve been forced to conclude that Subway “restaurants” suck. (The balls on that company, referring to itself as a restaurant. They’re a restaurant like I’m a successful disc jockey and comedy writer with a cock you […]
A month ago, I wrote an article (here) about not grasping why people get tattoos. And, because I’m aiming to come off as more crotchety than Old Man Clemens, now I’m rallying against piercings, which I find equally baffling. Let me start out by saying I don’t hate all piercings. […]
In my last post of the year, I wanted to say a little something about how grateful I am to each and every one of you who’s ever read an article on this site, ever listened to one of my radio shows or taken the time to send a message […]
America, thank you for giving me the best possible present you could have this Christmas (other than a job that allows me to feel I have worth as a human being): The thorough and abject failure of Jack Black’s Gulliver’s Travels at the box office. Sure, I could be glass […]
A few days ago, foot fetish videos that New York Jets coach Rex Ryan recorded with his wife Michelle surfaced online (I’ll place one of the videos at the end of the article, saving you the stigma of having “foot fetish+Rex Ryan” saved in your search history at work). The […]
Most people (aside from those blasphemous Hebrews and sandy scimitar-wielders) have a Christmas movie viewing ritual. Be it A Christmas Story, It’s a Wonderful Life, Elf or Home Alone, a film that is typically watched on Christmas Eve and filled with happy associations and memories. For me, that movie is […]
It’s list time on Papa’s Basement. (Any time you see a list, it means I had to work in the early afternoon, leaving me 20 minutes to write.) Here, in ascending order of awesomeness, are the three best Christmas presents I ever received. 3. Bike (1987)-The bike was my first […]
This is the last episode of Papa’s Basement of the year, and it’s a bit of a love letter to you, the listener. Thanks for all you guys do, be it downloading episodes, reading my articles, replying to my Tweets, not reporting me to Chris Hansen…the list goes on. It […]