Another dusting of snow, another out of proportion reaction from the DC area. At least this time people stopped short of bartering their women for milk and toilet paper, but, given I was able to clean my car with my coat sleeve, any reaction whatsoever was embarrassing and juvenile. (Also, […]
I’ve been a cellphone owner for over a decade and have owned my fair share of cellphones. I’m talking phones from way back, with that awful, pea green Game Boy screen all the way up to the newest feature phones (though not smartphones because I’m still too cheap to pay […]
Don’t let the title fool you: I eat at Subway. A lot. But lately I’ve been forced to conclude that Subway “restaurants” suck. (The balls on that company, referring to itself as a restaurant. They’re a restaurant like I’m a successful disc jockey and comedy writer with a cock you […]
A month ago, I wrote an article (here) about not grasping why people get tattoos. And, because I’m aiming to come off as more crotchety than Old Man Clemens, now I’m rallying against piercings, which I find equally baffling. Let me start out by saying I don’t hate all piercings. […]
In my last post of the year, I wanted to say a little something about how grateful I am to each and every one of you who’s ever read an article on this site, ever listened to one of my radio shows or taken the time to send a message […]
It’s list time on Papa’s Basement. (Any time you see a list, it means I had to work in the early afternoon, leaving me 20 minutes to write.) Here, in ascending order of awesomeness, are the three best Christmas presents I ever received. 3. Bike (1987)-The bike was my first […]
Yesterday, I was looking over these pictures of people with Mario Bros tattoos (among them the chica pictured above) when it occurred to me: I have no idea why anyone would get any of this crap permanently etched upon their body. And I’m don’t specifically mean a tat of that […]
(Before reading, open this in a new tab for the proper musical accompaniment. “But John,” you may ask, “isn’t that song a little…gay?” Believe you me when I say it’s going to be the straightest part of this article. I’m about to kiss Don’s ass so hard that I could […]
Yeah, so… this. Back with me? Here’s a quick list of my thoughts: 1. More than likely, this is a hoax. People do stupid shit like this all the time online to get attention and, more often than not, it works. I like knowing that this couple’s one dumb prank […]