I like Easter. Not because I’m a religious man, but because it brings a controlled amount of candy into my life, unlike Halloween, which typically concludes with me tearing up the house like a narc on a drug bust in search of one more bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. […]
In retrospect, I wasted a shocking number of hours in my early 20s trolling for ass on websites like MySpace and the now-defunct Dilly. I was an expert at being able to look at a woman’s profile and, within five seconds, deduce if she was a respectable girl, a raging […]
For those of you who simply celebrate it as Hitler’s birthday, it may come as a shock that 4/20 also has a reputation as a marijuana-based counterculture holiday, where potheads engage in a startlingly eclectic variety of activities ranging from smoking weed alone to smoking weed with their friends. My […]
Last night, my friend and co-worker Danny Rouhier mentioned in passing that it puzzled him why the Royal Wedding was such a big deal. Off the cuff, I replied that it probably had to do with Kate Middleton being a piece of ass. “But Beard,” he replied (a name bestowed […]
There are countless forms of comedy that are indisputably unfunny: The knock knock joke. Anything uttered by Daniel Lawrence Whitney. Articles with URLs that contain the words “inpapasbasement.com.” Add to that list every April Fool’s prank you can possibly conceive of. April Fool’s Day is an excuse for unfunny people […]
Sometimes, in spite of my best interests, I just let it fly behind the mic. This was one of those days. Was it a personal or professional relationship I blew up this time? Place your bets, listen to the episode below and find out! Papa’s Basement 3-28-11 (Left-click this link […]
(Please note: I don’t actually hate the Irish. Oh, how I love to pretend that I do, though.) I remember it like it was yesterday. 1993. A 12-year-old John Papageorgiou was watching an episode of The Simpsons titled “Whacking Day” (it was a more innocent time), the plot of which […]
Yesterday, the multi-national insurance giant Aflac fired the voice of its duck mascot, the company’s commercial spokescreature for over a decade, Gilbert Gottfried. It seems that Gilbert letting loose with a cavalcade of jokes about the disasters taking place in Japan wasn’t the wisest of moves given that, randomly enough, […]
Yesterday, I spent two of my six non-porn-related online minutes reading this article about Patrick Stewart and his efforts to get assisted dying (apparently “assisted suicide” isn’t PC anymore) legalized in the U.K. And, while I’m totally on his side in the matter, there’s something about an old guy crusading […]
