History’s Ugliest Dictators
A few days ago, I thought to myself, “Is a face like an old hound dog’s asshole a prerequisite for being a dictator?” Why would I think such a thing? […]
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Papa’s Basement 8-29-11-Hurricane Irene Was a C-Tease
Let’s be honest: People are idiots in the face anything Mother Nature throws at them. And the people of the DC area are bigger idiots than most when it comes […]
Having Fun with the CafePress Teddy Bear
A few months ago while killing time online at work (I hope some of you can relate to that), I stumbled upon this photo: I know what you’re thinking: “John, […]
There’s No Way This Guy Is Funny
I haven’t been this angry since that cougar drove by sporting an “I Got This in the Divorce” bumper sticker.
The Five Movie Characters Men Wish They Were, Part 5-Dutch Schaefer
And so it ends. 46 years after I began my series “The Five Movie Characters Men Wish They Were” (quality writing takes time. And, apparently, predates the Internet), our journey’s […]
Papa’s Basement 8-22-11-The Best (and Worst) Cartoons of the 80s and 90s
This might be hard to believe, given my Platonically ideal physique and my mind-boggling, go-getter energy levels, but a large portion of my childhood was spent in front of the […]
Every Sunday, I Pray for the Death of Sookie Stackhouse
As a man who enjoys placing my penis inside vaginas, I’ve always felt embarrassed about admitting that I’m a fan of True Blood. It falls under the umbrella of behaviors […]
Reviewing The Help…Without Having Watched It
The Help was released over the weekend and enjoyed a respectable box office take. This left me in a bit of a quandary because I love the traffic that comes […]
Papa’s Basement 8-15-11-Gwyneth Paltrow is the Mozart of Being a Spoiled C*nt
Those that listen to my show know that the pomposity of celebrities is a favorite target on mine. Yes, I understand that greedy, morally-bankrupt pillars of industry are the real […]
The Five Movie Characters Men Wish They Were, Part 4-Travis Bickle
After writing about men wishing they were an ass-crushing turbine of sexual attraction, a successful (if unlawful) businessman and the coolest guy to ever walk the Earth, I realized that […]
Rise of the Planet of the Apes Wipes Its Furry Ass with Citizen Kane
I’m about to say something that will no doubt earn me heaps of derision and scorn, but I don’t care, because it has to be said: Rise of the Planet […]
Papa’s Basement 8-8-11-Can George Clooney Die Already?
Look. By all accounts, George Clooney seems like a cool guy. A man’s man, if you will. But the perfection of his life is really starting to get to me. […]
The Five Movie Characters Men Wish They Were, Part 3-David Wooderson
So far, we’ve had the cool guy and the criminal. Now, it’s time to hit you with the ladies’ man. And, in the annals of film, there has never been […]
Papa’s Basement 8-1-11-The San Fran Circumcision Ban
Everything sounds better when it rhymes. Except for Fred Durst. Hiyo! Now that I’ve lost you all with that topical joke, time to summarize the show. The gang discusses the […]
Take a Ride on a Big D
Every so often, I see things in my daily life that make me do a double take. Here is one of those items, an ad I found waiting for me […]