Was Roger Ebert’s Remark About Ryan Dunn’s Death Offensive?
On Monday, June 20, at approximately 3:30 am, Ryan Dunn died when the Porsche (bastard) he was driving swerved off the road at speeds approaching 140 mph. “Who the fuck […]
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I Survived My Vegas Vacation: Day 2-The Half of the Day I Didn’t Spend Inside a Strip Club
After enduring ten hours either in an airport or airborne, not to mention staying out until 5:30 am, I went to bed at the end of my first day in […]
The Fast Food Connoisseur Reviews Burger King’s California Whopper
Originally, I had planned to spend the day penning another entry in my Vegas Vacation series which, by now, is officially longer than The Stand. My designs were changed, however, […]
Thank You, Jesus, for Making LeBron James Lose the NBA Finals
For those of you who pee sitting down, don’t follow basketball or simply haven’t heard, the Dallas Mavericks have won the NBA Championship. Which means the Miami Heat, and, more […]
Papa’s Basement 6-13-11-The Hollywood Cougar Pantheon
Today you’re in for a special treat, because I was joined in studio by two of my favorite co-workers, Ajay Atayee and Grant Paulsen. The conversation wanders from a party […]
I Survived My Vegas Vacation: Day 1, Part 4-I Promise This is It
I know, I know. At this point, the summary of the first day of my Vegas vacation has become one of those clown car dumps you take after spending the […]
I Survived My Vegas Vacation: Day 1, Part 3-A Night on the Town
With both legs of a journey so nightmarish that it made the Trail of Tears look like a pleasant spring hike behind me, I was ready to finally enjoy some […]
Papa’s Basement 6-6-11-Arnold Schwarzenegger Broke My Heart
I don’t mention this fact much (maybe because it always comes off like I’m being sarcastic), but Arnold Schwarzenegger is one of my biggest personal heroes. So maybe that’s why […]
I Survived My Vegas Vacation: Day 1, Part 2-Touchdown in Vegas
Where last we left off, your friend and humble narrator had landed in Milwaukee to await a connecting flight to Las Vegas. The layover was brief, and, as I slumped […]
Papa’s Basement 5-31-11-Tales from Sin City
99 times out of 100, when a guy behind a mic says, “Man, I just wish we had more time to get to everything I wanted to talk about today,” […]
I Survived My Vegas Vacation: Day 1, Part 1-The Flight
Well, I’m back. After half a week in what can only be described as Eden with breast implants, I’ve returned home to the humid morass of our nation’s capital. By […]
In Las Vegas-No Updates Until 5/25
Because a life of working three hours a day while playing more Wii than a Japanese preteen was really knocking it out of me, I decided to take a vacation […]
Cougar Life:The Catchiest Jingle You’ll Hate Yourself for Loving
Given my love of symphonic music, Osetras caviar and penchant for making love on the beaches of Saint-Tropez, it may shock you to learn that I enjoy something as base […]
Papa’s Basement 5-16-11-When Did I Become an Old Twat About Drinking?
I was a groomsman for the first (and, given how infrequently my friends get laid, probably last) time in my life last weekend, and even I, who was awesome enough […]
Finally, A Female Teacher-Male Student Sex Case That’s Obviously Rape
We’ve all heard the story before. A female teacher, accused of sleeping with a male student, is charged with rape. I have no idea how the average person reacts to […]