Why Do Women Like the Royal Wedding?
Last night, my friend and co-worker Danny Rouhier mentioned in passing that it puzzled him why the Royal Wedding was such a big deal. Off the cuff, I replied that […]
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Papa’s Basement 4-18-11-The Human Centipede
By now, the horrors of the film The Human Centipede have been well documented. Since I’m a dunce, though, I decided that it would be fine to watch the movie […]
Kobe Bryant Calls a Ref a “Fucking Faggot” on Television
For those of you that missed it, during Tuesday night’s game against the Spurs, Kobe Bryant was sent to the bench after receiving a technical foul. Pissed about the incident, […]
Cinnamon Toast Crunch is the Nectar of the Gods
No one would ever accuse my childhood of being a cornucopia of health food. Yes, my mom would boil up a pot of frozen mixed vegetables (yum) with every dinner, […]
Hanna‘s a Surprisingly Decent Movie
Last week it was my friend Richard’s birthday. I wanted to do something nice for him because he’s one of the few people I know whose heart isn’t a ball […]
Papa’s Basement 4-11-11-Cate Knocks it Out of the Park
Some episodes come out of the gates, others build to a slow boil. (Others are just turds in the punch bowl, but no one bats a thousand.) In the final […]
You Should Spend Your Weekend with Party Down
Every so often, while pissing my life away via Netflix and its insidious instant streaming capabilities, I stumble upon a gem of a show I wasn’t previously aware of. Then, […]
The Smell of Spring (and Jizz) is in the Air
It’s springtime again. And we all know what that means: Driving with the windows down. Women wearing less. And, if you live in Virginia, the smell of old semen permeating […]
Does the Verizon iPhone 4’s Data Speed Suck for Everyone or Just Me?
A few months ago, I treated myself to an iPhone 4 on the Verizon network. It was a joyous day, not unlike the birth of a child, except my iPhone […]
Papa’s Basement 4-4-11-Candy Hair and Monster Mouse
Because who wants to hear the news of the day on time and from the mouth of a professional anchor when you can get it from us long after its […]
April Fool’s Day Jokes Are Never Funny
There are countless forms of comedy that are indisputably unfunny: The knock knock joke. Anything uttered by Daniel Lawrence Whitney. Articles with URLs that contain the words “inpapasbasement.com.” Add to […]
It’s Baseball’s Opening Day. How I Wish I Cared
I’ve spent the day eying a trickle of Tweets tagged with #openingday. In general, they seem to be originating from one of three types: Older men, who remember when baseball […]
Adam Sandler Has Never Bested Billy Madison
If you don’t laugh at this scene, I despise you. Also, I apologize for the audio, which sounds like it was recorded underwater. This past Sunday night, while driving home […]
Papa’s Basement 3-28-11-Cleanin’ Out My Closet
Sometimes, in spite of my best interests, I just let it fly behind the mic. This was one of those days. Was it a personal or professional relationship I blew […]
So Propecia Can Destroy Your Dick. Great.
I woke up a few days ago to a gleeful text message from my good friend Brian. Brian’s Irish, through and through, and I knew he’d been plotting some sort […]