I have a bit of a sweet tooth. Which is a nice way of saying I’m an undisciplined fuck when it comes to my eating and I get visible erections when walking by bulk food candy bins. So it didn’t take much twisting of the arm to get me to […]
The Christmas season has been kind to those of us who like our food fast and greasy. McDonald’s alone has given us the Daily Double, the delightful (if derivative) Chicken McBites and the diabetes-tastic Holiday Pie. Every other chain is getting into the spirit with a seasonal milkshake offering at […]
As an American patriot, I spend each Sunday on the couch like a cancer patient, watching 11 straight hours of NFL football. One of the interesting side effects of doing so is that the advertisements that air during football games (and there aren’t many, because NFL commercial time is prohibitively […]
Originally, I had planned to spend the day penning another entry in my Vegas Vacation series which, by now, is officially longer than The Stand. My designs were changed, however, by a conversation with two friends at work (Chris Lingebach and Othello Bouchareb, whose radio show can be heard on […]
With both legs of a journey so nightmarish that it made the Trail of Tears look like a pleasant spring hike behind me, I was ready to finally enjoy some of what Las Vegas had to offer. Given I’m a social retard (which, in Vegas, one must pronounce “ritard”), clubbing […]
I apologize for the title, which sounds like a line from Shylock’s “If you prick us, do we not bleed?” speech in The Merchant of Venice. An Alabama law firm is alleging that Taco Bell’s beef, well, doesn’t legally qualify as beef. (To be exact, they found it to contained […]
Don’t let the title fool you: I eat at Subway. A lot. But lately I’ve been forced to conclude that Subway “restaurants” suck. (The balls on that company, referring to itself as a restaurant. They’re a restaurant like I’m a successful disc jockey and comedy writer with a cock you […]
I’ve made no secret on this site of my love-hate relationship with fast food (hate the body it gives me, love every other aspect of it more than life itself). I do my best to avoid consuming it, enduring weeks of bombardment by ads for the latest burrito or burger, […]
The older I get, the more I realize there is very little I do well in life. Fast food is one of those things, though. Whenever I see a friend post on Facebook about the latest fine eatery they just dined at, I simple laugh to myself, go to the […]