The Sopranos really was one of the most spectacular shows ever created. Nuanced, expertly acted, rife with dramatic tension, not to mention a surprising number of tremendous laughs. The scene above works because it fires on all these cylinders. Within five seconds, it’s already introduced you to tizzone, a slur […]
America, thank you for giving me the best possible present you could have this Christmas (other than a job that allows me to feel I have worth as a human being): The thorough and abject failure of Jack Black’s Gulliver’s Travels at the box office. Sure, I could be glass […]
Most people (aside from those blasphemous Hebrews and sandy scimitar-wielders) have a Christmas movie viewing ritual. Be it A Christmas Story, It’s a Wonderful Life, Elf or Home Alone, a film that is typically watched on Christmas Eve and filled with happy associations and memories. For me, that movie is […]
After not even two years of marriage (that deuce anniversary is a bitch), Dexter stars Michael C. Hall and Jennifer Carpenter are splitting up, reportedly because Hall was getting the steamy undies for his new co-star, Julia Stiles. I can sympathize with Hall because marriage is an archaic cage designed […]
The other day I was going through Sports Illustrated’s Greatest American Boxing Movies (ignoring each film made before 1950 because the only people who watch those are homosexuals and women that don’t get laid) when, at #8, I came upon a title so fantastic that I knew right then and […]
This is a brave thing I’m about to say, but I felt it needed to be said: The terrorist attacks against the United States of America on September 11, 2001, were disgusting and unjustifiable. Phew. I hope you’re still reading after that, but I just had to put it out […]
I make no secret of having a titanic geeky side. As a youth, I enjoyed many a viewing of Star Wars. Countless hours have been spent watching Captain Kirk toupee his way out of one crisis or another. Christ, there are even boxes of Magic: The Gathering cards under my […]
(Before reading, open this in a new tab for the proper musical accompaniment. “But John,” you may ask, “isn’t that song a little…gay?” Believe you me when I say it’s going to be the straightest part of this article. I’m about to kiss Don’s ass so hard that I could […]
I’m about to tell a tale that is going to make me sound incredibly old. A tale of “video cassettes” and entire storefronts dedicated to allowing you to rent them. The tale of Bad Lieutenant. You see, in my pre-teen years, there was a now-defunct video rental store by the […]