Gerbils: The Lamest Pet in Creation
I have a cat (there’s something inherently creepy about a heterosexual male saying that, but bear with me). It craps in a box, lives on a pillow under the heater, […]
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Life on Hoth (DC Can’t Handle Snow)
Another dusting of snow, another out of proportion reaction from the DC area. At least this time people stopped short of bartering their women for milk and toilet paper, but, […]
From the Wayback: Where the Red Fern Grows
The other day I got to thinking that there are a crapton of books from my childhood I barely remember. Countless novels I either napped through as they were read […]
NFL Playoffs-Week 1-One for Effing Four
“You’re gonna listen to me? To something I said? Hasn’t it become abundantly clear during the tenure of our friendship that I don’t know shit?” –Brodie, Mallrats In this man’s […]
Papa’s Basement 1-10-11-We’re Back, Mothersmuckers!
We’re back from vacation and, while I want to heed the wisdom of Winston Wolf, I think we do a hell of a job on this one. The story Will […]
Are All Cellphone Batteries Awful?
I’ve been a cellphone owner for over a decade and have owned my fair share of cellphones. I’m talking phones from way back, with that awful, pea green Game Boy […]
Subway Sucks
Don’t let the title fool you: I eat at Subway. A lot. But lately I’ve been forced to conclude that Subway “restaurants” suck. (The balls on that company, referring to […]
I Don’t Understand Piercings, Either
A month ago, I wrote an article (here) about not grasping why people get tattoos. And, because I’m aiming to come off as more crotchety than Old Man Clemens, now […]
Thanks, Guys
In my last post of the year, I wanted to say a little something about how grateful I am to each and every one of you who’s ever read an […]
Gulliver’s Travels Bombs
America, thank you for giving me the best possible present you could have this Christmas (other than a job that allows me to feel I have worth as a human […]
The Rex Ryan Foot Fetish Videos Are the Greatest Things Ever
A few days ago, foot fetish videos that New York Jets coach Rex Ryan recorded with his wife Michelle surfaced online (I’ll place one of the videos at the end […]
Bad Santa: The Best Christmas Movie Ever
Most people (aside from those blasphemous Hebrews and sandy scimitar-wielders) have a Christmas movie viewing ritual. Be it A Christmas Story, It’s a Wonderful Life, Elf or Home Alone, a […]
The Top Three Christmas Presents I Ever Received
It’s list time on Papa’s Basement. (Any time you see a list, it means I had to work in the early afternoon, leaving me 20 minutes to write.) Here, in […]
Papa’s Basement 12-20-10-Yule Log
This is the last episode of Papa’s Basement of the year, and it’s a bit of a love letter to you, the listener. Thanks for all you guys do, be […]
Lose Weight with Ayds
Just watch this gem. This one’s also pretty solid. How great is that? The Ayds diet plan. Ayds was big in the 70s and early 80s, before its popularity took […]