Before we begin, I must mention that the name The Heat is a travesty. There is only film by the name Heat and it is the greatest piece of cinema that ever was and ever will be. No other movie should be permitted to include the word “heat” in its […]
People need death in their life. That’s all I can attribute the appeal of zombies to. Man spent his entire history watching members of his tribe perish left and right on a daily basis, like he was solving a level of Lemmings. Even a mere 100 years ago, we were […]
“I’d rather watch my parents fuck than sit through Man of Steel.” -Gandhi Let me reacquaint you with a film. It was going to reboot the Superman franchise into the modern superhero movie era. It was directed by a guy who had previously done great work with adapting a comic […]
I’m going to take a different approach to today’s review (and be funny for once) and go through This Is the End‘s Wikipedia entry line by line, commenting the choice bits. This Is the End is an upcoming apocalyptic comedy film… This is not a real genre. I know Shaun […]
I didn’t start this website to get laid, make friends, turn a profit, or better my life in any way whatsoever. Which is good, because it hasn’t managed to do any of those things. So I’m not risking anything by coming out with both guns blazing: The Hangover was a […]
I was never into Star Trek as a kid. If I recall, I found it “slow-paced and faggy”, to state the matter in a politically correct manner. As the years passed, though, something changed: Instead of getting off on mercilessly mocking anyone into “Le Trék“, as the French call it, […]
I’m confused by the fact that The Great Gatsby is getting mauled over at Rotten Tomatoes, because, in theory, it sounds like a great movie. In my youth, I enjoyed the frenetic, colorful direction of Romeo + Juliet and Moulin Rouge, both of which are Baz Luhrmann joints as we […]
I found the first two Iron Man films overrated, and not just because I get off on hating things that other people like: I genuinely didn’t get the fuss. Jon Favreau’s direction was good but nothing fresh. Robert Downey Jr. acting like a manic poonhound for two hours wore thin […]
The Scary Movie series is everything insidious and wrong with this generation’s comedy films. I’m not saying that to get up on some high horse and pretend that comedy cinema was pure good until 2000, but at least bad 80s comedies had the decency to offer up some flat-chested blonde […]