How I Spend the Fourth of July
By which I mean lightning fireworks and lobbing them 0.26 seconds before they’d go off in my hand (leaving me with a Brundlestump), not parading around in twink shorts waiting […]
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The Buxom Bandit
The British Empire was what it was because no people are more obsessed with massive tits than the English and I’ve never met a wicked person who loved giant breasts. […]
Reviewing Magic Mike Without Having Seen It
Women are lucky. Maybe I have zero comprehension of what makes them tick sexually, but I get the feeling that watching a movie like Magic Mike is as titillating to […]
Reviewing Ted Without Having Seen It
Seth MacFarlane gets a bad rap from a lot of people. For some reason, everyone wants to act like they’re better than Family Guy, even though we’re all one utterance […]
Ke$ha’s Cla-say New Lip Tattoo
Yesterday, Ke$ha Tweeted or Instagramed or Facebooked or used whatever new social network is violating the public’s privacy this week to share a photo of her freshly inked lip tattoo, […]
There’s Always One Weird Kid In School (Sex With Paula Deen)
Ever wonder why radio people aren’t on camera more? Click here to quench that thirst. And please share the video to help me break into that vaunted strata of radio […]
Adele’s Ex Dumped Her For a Guy
Whereas a normal fat girl would take getting dumped as an opportunity to economically bail out the local Dairy Queen, Adele decided to write an album about it, instead. Good […]
Here’s the New Jenny McCarthy Playboy Cover
The cover for Jenny McCarthy’s return to Playboy magazine has been released and, for a moment, it got me really excited. When I was a teen, Jenny McCarthy was the […]
Papa’s Basement 6-25-12-Pets Are Awful Little Money Pits
You know what? Pets suck. Even the cute little ones. This is why. Papa’s Basement 6-25-12 (iTunes users, please rate and subscribe to Papa’s Basement by clicking here. Left-click the […]
Reviewing Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Without Having Seen It
Some words just don’t belong together. “Tuna” and “ice cream”. “Cornerback” and “white”. “Grandmother” and “blowjob”. Add “Abraham Lincoln” and “vampire hunter” to that list. Mark my words when I […]
The Miami Heat Win the 2012 NBA Championship
Congrats to the Miami Heat and especially LeBron James for victory last night in the 2012 NBA Championships. With this monkey off his back, I hope LeBron can accomplish the […]
Here’s the Taken 2 Trailer
I enjoyed the original Taken. Not so much because I thought it was a fantastic movie, but I saw it with my mom, who inexplicably adored it. And an older […]
How Did Vanessa Paradis Ever Land Johnny Depp?
Vanessa Paradis (horf) is a French model and singer who, for almost 15 years, has been Johnny Depp’s girlfriend/faux wife. Their relationship came to a public end this week and, […]
Papa’s Basement 6-21-12-The West Hollywood Pride Parade 2012
It’s Doug’s (the guy on the left) first appearance on the show, during which he sees fit to tell/scar us with stories from the 2012 Gay Pride Parade in West […]
I Always Thought It’d Been Made Up For The Hangover
Well played, Alan. Well played.